collegehumor:

10 Celebs That Have the Power to Shoot Lasers Out of Their Eyes

Are we really surprised with these? 

Hahaha

I’m not as think as you drunk I am. #NOLA @whittlefire

peaceandflying:

lindsayface47:

that-damned-elusive-pimpernel:

rottenweiler:

wethinktherefore:

didyoudance:

homemadedarkmark | devonwood:

MY ANACONDA DON’T WANT NONE if you say no, because I respect your boundaries.

‘CAUSE I’M LONG, AND STRONG
AND I’M DOWN TO GET THE FRICTION ON as long as it’s okay with you. otherwise I’m good with a movie and some tea.

SO LADIES, LADIES, IF YOU WANNA ROLL IN MY MERCEDES please let me know ahead of time so that I can plan accordingly

BABY GOT self-respect

YEAH, BABY; WHEN IT COMES TO FEMALES, COSMO AIN’T GOT NOTHIN’ TO DO WITH MY SELECTION. 36-24-36? HAHA, only if you’re obsessed with physical appearances and believe that socially constructed ideals of beauty mean more than personality and an emotional connection

BABY, I WANNA GET WIT CHA, AND TAKE YO PICTCHA because your fashion sense is impeccable and I admire your capability for accessorizing as well as your witty response to my request.

SO COSMO SAYS YOU’RE FAT, BUT I AIN’T DOWN WITH THAT because every person on this planet is beautiful in their own way, and nobody should be made to feel uncomfortable in their own skin.

CUZ YOUR WAIST IS SMALL AND YOUR CURVES ARE KICKIN’ AND I’M THINKIN’ ‘BOUT STICKIN’ with you, but mainly because of your wonderful personality and awesome sense of humor. you’re beautiful inside and out - and the first is of utmost importance.

little-lunar:

stealingfirefromprometheus:

Can I just reblog this again because this is beautiful.

thegestianpoet:

the story of a comedian under-appreciated in his time because he makes lungburgers instead of working the audience 

jilianetheking:

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President’s Secret Service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

Yep, these are all activities…good work, Facebook.

THE best.

thegestianpoet:

Vesalius